DO NOT MASTURBATE DIRECTLY AFTER CHOPPING JALAPENOS
This sounds like the most unfortunate thing
When your girlfriend gets into the shower on cold winter mornings, put a clean towel in the dryer. When you hear the water turn off, grab the towel from the dryer and bring it to her. She’ll smile. Guaranteed.
Little things, you guys. Little things.
karlie is a genius
If my boyfriend did that I’d suck his dick so hard he’d swallow his eyeballs.
he’d swallow his eyeballs.
100% of this is beautiful
OMG so I just figured out the word “hurt”
it’s past, present and future
you will be hurt
you are hurt
you were hurt
BECAUSE IF SOMETHING TRULY HURT, IT NEVER REALLY STOPS
you poetic little shit
But think about it, it works for ‘happy’ too.
You will be happy
You are happy
You were happy
You will be wumbo
You are wumbo
You were wumbo
The study of wumbology
IT’S FIRST GRADE SPONGEBOB